All over the northern hemisphere, there is a phenomenon happening called, "Fall". The nights begin to grow cooler, the days become shorter, and everywhere you look, trees & bushes start to change from a saturated green to radiant red, brilliant yellow, and deep orange. We don scarves and boots and walk around on crunchy, leaf-filled sidewalks exclaiming to each other how beautiful it all is.
Science tells us that since the chlorophyll "food" is no longer being supplied to the leaf, it cannot retain it's green color. At the same time, a layer of cells begin to form between the stem of the leaf and the tree, in essence, severing the leaf. When the leaf finally falls, it no longer abides in the tree and a leaf scar is all that is left.
Have you ever thought about death being beautiful?
The world certainly doesn't deem death as something to celebrate as a glorious end. It is celebrated, glorified even, but only in the most ghoulish, scary, dark ways. Whatever comes after this life is to be feared.
But in Christ, we know a different end. We grieve with hope when we say goodbye because we know that what lies ahead is far better than anything we could imagine here. Death has no victory, it's sting is only the pangs of separation.
We abide in the Father in this world, but when our souls are severed from our bodies, we will still abide with the Father...but then face to face. We do not fear death, but embrace the knowledge that to be absent from the body is to be present with the Lord.
And there is nothing and no one more beautiful than He.
Thursday, November 1, 2018
Saturday, August 18, 2018
The Moments
It was hard to watch this moment and not be able to fix the turmoil going on inside her soul. Motherhood is becoming increasingly harder as we dab our toe into the preteen waters and start navigating friendships. Not the friendships of the kids of the moms that I hang out with, but the friendships she is making on her own.
The look on her face when she realized that she had been forgotten about, she had been overlooked, someone else had captivated her friend's attention, and said friend moved on instead of honoring the commitment she had made...I knew all about the tearings going on inside her at that moment. I lived that moment many elementary and high school days. I watched as her beautiful blue eyes filled with tears, her chin quivered, and she said, "She's not here...she said today at 3:00, but she's not here." I would have done anything for her not to have to walk through that moment, but I knew I could not.
These are the moments that made me into who I am today. If I had not been allowed to walk through emotions like loneliness, sadness, anger, frustration, and disappointment, I would not have the emotional depth to walk her through her own oceans. This is a part of her making. When I pray for her to become a woman who seeks God alone...I am praying for these moments even if I don't realize it. Her 11 year old heart is being called out to hear the voice of her true Friend who never leaves her, never forsakes her. In times like these she is reminded that He will always be present, she will never be alone. This circumstance reinforces to her that God does not change, what He says He is, He is. What He says He will do, He'll do. Like the tide each evening and the sun each morning, He is more dependable than anyone else we know. His love is steadfast towards us even when we falter or turn away from Him.
As her sisters played at the park, we sat in the car and had yet another talk about friendship and what makes a good friend. We discussed disappointment, anger, frustration, and sadness as she sat in the seat with big tears rolling down her tanned cheeks. And we talked about how her response matters. It matters that she chooses to still interact kindly with this girl...she's not a bad person, she just may not be trustworthy. It matters that she not put people on a pedestal full of expectations...they will fail you, they are not God. It matters that you not sulk about what happened, but instead make the choice to look up, look around at who might need a friend. It matters that you see this as something you yourself may do and think about how it affects the person on the other end of the equation. And it matters because your whole life you are going to interact with people who will let you down, not keep their word, pick someone else over you, and not be a trustworthy friend...so we must learn what to do with the emotions that come when these moments happen.
I nudged her out of the van, and she took her seat on the grassy bridge to think things through. She presently came down to the play area and took to the swing and teeter-totter for a while before coming to sit beside me on the bench.
I looked at her profile and I saw what everyone else sees: flawless skin, blonded-by-the-sun hair, blue eyes, a little belly that loves sweets and carbs, and a frame that is continuing to grow like a weed. But I also saw what they may not see: a silly laugh, willing volunteer, tender emotions, growing faith, quick temper, avid reader, creative mind, bossy big sister, and loving daughter. In the Potter's hands, she will be molded into a masterpiece, but the reshapings and pressure that He lovingly applies are all part of who He is making her to be, and must be navigated with trust that He knows and has a plan. My goal is not her popularity, not making her into who I think she should be, not removing all obstacles from her path...my goal must always be to bring God into the conversation in all the moments. Because although I see so much more of her than others, I don't see what God sees in her. She has her own calling, her own purpose. My job is merely to equip her with the tools that help her become the woman God has already planned her to be.
Never have I felt the years growing so short, and my capabilities as a mother lacking as I do tonight. So I lean into the same truths I shared with her today, because I need them too.
Monday, August 13, 2018
The Answer
My girls have been leaving me the sweetest little notes that I can't bear to throw away. They collect on my desk, my bedside stand, beside my bed on the floor, in my purse, and randomly in a cabinet or as a bookmark. I want to write them back each time they sneak a new scribbled sheet into my hand or when I find a piece of their artwork waiting on my pillow when I go to bed.
Their notes say, "I love you so much. You are the best mom. Thanks for taking care of us. I want to be like you when I grow up. What are we doing tomorrow? I'm going to have a better response next time I am disappointed." And my littlest one tells me each night, "You are my favorite." I want to write them back and tell them all the things that moms need to impart to their daughters. Be gracious to others. Don't be afraid to be different in a crowd. Stand tall and be the woman God made you to be. Embrace the under-dog. Stick up for your sister. Use your words wisely. Don't settle for good enough when the best is waiting. Close your mouth when chewing. Conduct yourself like a lady, but know how to aggressively play ball. Find your passion and cheer others on in theirs. Use the china, life is too short for paper plates all the time. Respect your elders even when you don't agree or don't understand. Be compassionate. Seek Christ.
But I know if I wrote every single thing I thought they should know, it wouldn't be enough. I know this because my mom wrote me so many letters, notes, emails, texts, and messages. I talked for hours with her on the phone and when I didn't answer, she always left a lengthy voicemail. She's been gone for 22 months, and everyday I want to ask her something. I want her opinion. I want her wisdom that is 32 years down the road from where I am right now. I want to hear her voice, "Hello Debra Darling!" For all the writing and talking we did for 38 years, it didn't cover all the topics that I need to discuss with her, because when are we ever ready to be without our mother? And it seems like there are more and more things that I want to talk about with her...so many parts of life I need help with, so many questions. But she's no longer here to give answers.
After all of that, I have learned there are answers, but it's not like before. Instead of trying to impart each tiny thing to my girls, I hope to leave legacy of The Answer -- Jesus Christ.
My Dear Girls,
There will come a day when you will not be able to find me in the house, call me on the phone, or text a quick message. You will want a conversation about a friend, insight about kids, to tell me about a crazy dream, to ask me about my medical history, to get a recipe you remember, to organize in your brain again the family tree of great grandfathers. Yet, all you will have left will be memories and written words or recorded moments...and it will feel lacking.
You may not find answers to those questions, but my prayer is that I will have prepared you to find all the other answers your heart seeks. That your "why's" and "what if's" can be laid in front of our loving Heavenly Father and your soul will find rest as you seek and find what you are longing for...Answers. Because I have traveled this road before you have, let me share some of the answers that have become so sweet, yet brokenly beautiful as my aching heart chooses their truth over and over.
He is enough. You shall not want, need, or desire anything that He cannot provide to your heart, soul, and mind.
When you are lonely, He is present. Always, Everywhere. The same person with me is with you.
When you need wisdom, He is omniscient.
When you are broken, He restores your soul. He will make all things new (this is our true hope and promise).
When your world is changing, He is unable to change, it's against His nature.
When you are feeling defeated, He is the Lord of Hosts...He will fight your battles.
When you wanted more time that what we had, He is your portion in all ways, all things, all circumstances.
When the days are dark, when the nights come too soon and are filled with tears and alone-ness, He gives his beloved sleep, you dwell in the shelter of the Most High.
When you ask "why" again, He is sovereign...and we are the created ones. Can the clay tell the potter how to form it?
When you want to hide rather than face the things needful for the day, His feathers cover you as you abide in the shadow of the Almighty wings.
When all comforters can give no comfort, lay your head down and let the Comforter utter the deep groanings that you cannot even verbalize.
When every older woman is someone else's mother, He is your heavenly Father...which is incomprehensibly better than a father or a mother.
When your friends mom is aged and yours did not see those years, Jesus is better. (ok, that was more for me than for the girls)
I memorized Psalm 139 early in my 20's because I could not view myself like God viewed me. Now, many years later, I see that not only does it tell my standing to a Sovereign King, it more importantly tells me who He is and how deeply it should affect and change me. Be steadfast in Hope, my sweet girls. His words in Psalm 139 are promises and He who promised is faithful, so hold fast to the confession of our Hope. One day we will behold Him together...may He find us faithful to Him through each day we live, looking forward to the day we will truly be ALIVE.
Press on, my dears. He is worthy.
All my Love,
Mom
Their notes say, "I love you so much. You are the best mom. Thanks for taking care of us. I want to be like you when I grow up. What are we doing tomorrow? I'm going to have a better response next time I am disappointed." And my littlest one tells me each night, "You are my favorite." I want to write them back and tell them all the things that moms need to impart to their daughters. Be gracious to others. Don't be afraid to be different in a crowd. Stand tall and be the woman God made you to be. Embrace the under-dog. Stick up for your sister. Use your words wisely. Don't settle for good enough when the best is waiting. Close your mouth when chewing. Conduct yourself like a lady, but know how to aggressively play ball. Find your passion and cheer others on in theirs. Use the china, life is too short for paper plates all the time. Respect your elders even when you don't agree or don't understand. Be compassionate. Seek Christ.
But I know if I wrote every single thing I thought they should know, it wouldn't be enough. I know this because my mom wrote me so many letters, notes, emails, texts, and messages. I talked for hours with her on the phone and when I didn't answer, she always left a lengthy voicemail. She's been gone for 22 months, and everyday I want to ask her something. I want her opinion. I want her wisdom that is 32 years down the road from where I am right now. I want to hear her voice, "Hello Debra Darling!" For all the writing and talking we did for 38 years, it didn't cover all the topics that I need to discuss with her, because when are we ever ready to be without our mother? And it seems like there are more and more things that I want to talk about with her...so many parts of life I need help with, so many questions. But she's no longer here to give answers.
After all of that, I have learned there are answers, but it's not like before. Instead of trying to impart each tiny thing to my girls, I hope to leave legacy of The Answer -- Jesus Christ.
My Dear Girls,
There will come a day when you will not be able to find me in the house, call me on the phone, or text a quick message. You will want a conversation about a friend, insight about kids, to tell me about a crazy dream, to ask me about my medical history, to get a recipe you remember, to organize in your brain again the family tree of great grandfathers. Yet, all you will have left will be memories and written words or recorded moments...and it will feel lacking.
You may not find answers to those questions, but my prayer is that I will have prepared you to find all the other answers your heart seeks. That your "why's" and "what if's" can be laid in front of our loving Heavenly Father and your soul will find rest as you seek and find what you are longing for...Answers. Because I have traveled this road before you have, let me share some of the answers that have become so sweet, yet brokenly beautiful as my aching heart chooses their truth over and over.
He is enough. You shall not want, need, or desire anything that He cannot provide to your heart, soul, and mind.
When you are lonely, He is present. Always, Everywhere. The same person with me is with you.
When you need wisdom, He is omniscient.
When you are broken, He restores your soul. He will make all things new (this is our true hope and promise).
When your world is changing, He is unable to change, it's against His nature.
When you are feeling defeated, He is the Lord of Hosts...He will fight your battles.
When you wanted more time that what we had, He is your portion in all ways, all things, all circumstances.
When the days are dark, when the nights come too soon and are filled with tears and alone-ness, He gives his beloved sleep, you dwell in the shelter of the Most High.
When you ask "why" again, He is sovereign...and we are the created ones. Can the clay tell the potter how to form it?
When you want to hide rather than face the things needful for the day, His feathers cover you as you abide in the shadow of the Almighty wings.
When all comforters can give no comfort, lay your head down and let the Comforter utter the deep groanings that you cannot even verbalize.
When every older woman is someone else's mother, He is your heavenly Father...which is incomprehensibly better than a father or a mother.
When your friends mom is aged and yours did not see those years, Jesus is better. (ok, that was more for me than for the girls)
I memorized Psalm 139 early in my 20's because I could not view myself like God viewed me. Now, many years later, I see that not only does it tell my standing to a Sovereign King, it more importantly tells me who He is and how deeply it should affect and change me. Be steadfast in Hope, my sweet girls. His words in Psalm 139 are promises and He who promised is faithful, so hold fast to the confession of our Hope. One day we will behold Him together...may He find us faithful to Him through each day we live, looking forward to the day we will truly be ALIVE.
Press on, my dears. He is worthy.
All my Love,
Mom
Monday, May 21, 2018
Mother's Day
This is a weekend I’m struggling with, and maybe you are too. I had a hard initiation into the club of losing a mom a year and a half ago…and my second Mother’s Day without her is shaping up a little rough feeling.
But here’s the thing. She was my mother by blood (and she was truly amazing), but so many other women have mothered and mentored me through the years. I can hardly stand the thought of turning my focus inward to loss and instead choose to look at the beautiful souls God has placed in my life. Women who continue to speak truth into my marriage and my parenting, who come alongside and encourage and love the woman I am and see the woman God wants me to become. These are His good gifts to me during a time when I want to refuse to acknowledge His choices for my life…when I question His love and goodness to me.
Our arms may be empty and our hearts may ache to have what we thought we should have this Mother’s Day, but those are not our only choices regarding motherhood. We always have older and younger women around us…we are mothered by the elder and we mother those younger than us…it’s the Titus 2 model. And amidst our own griefs and sorrows, it is the sweetest thing to know that God has not left us alone. In His goodness, He provides.
What if empty arms and aching hearts are what He chooses to draw us closer to Himself? To seek Him and know Him deeply? Isn’t that our purpose in this Christian journey…to know Him and the power of His resurrection?
I know you hurt. I hurt too. But give honor to whom honor is due. Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep. Joy is always intermingled with sorrow, we must learn to embrace the idea that our life paths are not the same…and that there is no politically correctness that will make it all ok or fill the lonely gaps, only Love wins, Christ’s love.
To those who mothered me growing up, and those who mother me in adult life, to those I have mothered, to the women in middle life with me, to my sisters who each carry a part of my mom …and to Mom… Happy Mother’s Day. I love you and am so thankful for your influence in my life. Let us lean into our good God who is our portion. He is enough. 
💗
💗The Comeback
I keep saying I'll start blogging again when people ask me if I write often...but I haven't returned to this site. It's been over 6 years since my last post and as I've read over my past posts, I can't help but notice that although I am the same person, I'm also a different person. And that's ok...we should be growing & changing as we progress through life...but there has been so much life that has happened.
This is the year of my comeback. Age 40. Through the first year of deep grief that almost overcame my faith. Re-entering life as a wife, mom, friend, daughter, disciple. Re-engaging and better understanding my purpose, my identity, and God's ways over my own.
Instead of trying to catch up and fill in the years of blank spaces, I'm just going to start in with my latest thoughts I wrote on Mother's Day weekend. This blog is more of a journal for me, a way to record life quickly and "say" things aloud that I want to remember.
If you're still here with me, Hi. Here I go.
This is the year of my comeback. Age 40. Through the first year of deep grief that almost overcame my faith. Re-entering life as a wife, mom, friend, daughter, disciple. Re-engaging and better understanding my purpose, my identity, and God's ways over my own.
Instead of trying to catch up and fill in the years of blank spaces, I'm just going to start in with my latest thoughts I wrote on Mother's Day weekend. This blog is more of a journal for me, a way to record life quickly and "say" things aloud that I want to remember.
If you're still here with me, Hi. Here I go.
Thursday, February 28, 2013
A Part of Me
I started this post early last week...and could not work my way through my thoughts to complete it. The laundry will not get folded and put away today...again. My birthday thank you's will continue to sit unwritten on my desk. But I am finishing this post today. I'm ready.
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My grandma went Home last week.
It was an emotionally-full, physically-tiring week that felt accelerated by my girls getting sick, and getting off to the funeral one day in order that I could be home the next. Seventeen hours of driving, a funeral, grieving family, and sickness waiting at home packed into 38 hours...I'm just spent.
Seventeen hours of driving on my own provided me with much time of prayer. But oddly enough, I did not reflect much on what the passing of this amazing lady would mean for me. And so today, with most of the sickness behind me, and much rest caught up on, the reflection begins...and it comes in waves. Thinking about how her life wove into mine, the intangible things I inherited from her, how her passing affected so many people who loved her...and how I hope I am like her one day.
Grandma was funny, feisty, opinionated...very opinionated, young, beautiful, and godly. She is a reason I am who I am today. As a young wife, she heard a sermon on the radio and gave her life to Christ. And a year later my Grandpa came to Christ. They raised a family of 8 as best they knew how. My dad went into the ministry in part because of her, and raised his own family of 4. I am not in ministry per se, but I love my Jesus and am passing on that love to my little family of 2.
She was short, like me. She sang alto, like me. She loved pretty things, flashy belts and fun shoes. ;o) Me too. She always knew where she stood on a matter, and sometimes to a fault would argue her position...I could stand to be a bit more courageous in some areas, and back down in some others. Grandma was never old to me, not even when I "grew up". She just always looked the same...until just a few short years ago. And when she smiled, her whole face would smile...her eyes, her mouth, each beautiful wrinkle in her skin. Her laugh was contagious. I can still hear it. Her sense of humor was not what one would expect from their grandma, she came out with some of the driest, funniest things. She was a pool shark, and lobbied for Senior Citizens rights at her state capital. She drove her car like a racer around those curvy rural Missouri roads. She was an independent lady, but fell in love again years after my Grandpa had passed...
The last time I talked to her on the phone, she was full of life and joy, and was wishing to see me & her new great-granddaughters. We never got down there...and I'll always be sad about that. I was rummaging through some photo albums and came across a picture from our wedding. I teared up right away. I looked at it and thought: That's my Grandma. She was so happy that day. Happy for me. Celebrating with me. There for me. What else could one ask for? She loved me...even if I didn't get down to see her often, even if she wasn't able to meet my family. She loved me and was there when she could be.
If you know me well at all, you know that music is a language that speaks deeply to me. I get lost in the longing chords of a double bass, and reflective in the expressive tones of a voice. I have listened to "For Always" by Josh Groban about 100x since Grandma left this place...it's two phrases that get me every time...
"I close my eyes, and there in the shadows I see your light..."
and
"For always and ever, you'll be a part of me..."
She will always be a part of what makes me me. I'll close my eyes and see that face...and I'll forever be thankful for the amazing woman that God chose to put in my life.
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My grandma went Home last week.
It was an emotionally-full, physically-tiring week that felt accelerated by my girls getting sick, and getting off to the funeral one day in order that I could be home the next. Seventeen hours of driving, a funeral, grieving family, and sickness waiting at home packed into 38 hours...I'm just spent.
Seventeen hours of driving on my own provided me with much time of prayer. But oddly enough, I did not reflect much on what the passing of this amazing lady would mean for me. And so today, with most of the sickness behind me, and much rest caught up on, the reflection begins...and it comes in waves. Thinking about how her life wove into mine, the intangible things I inherited from her, how her passing affected so many people who loved her...and how I hope I am like her one day.
Grandma was funny, feisty, opinionated...very opinionated, young, beautiful, and godly. She is a reason I am who I am today. As a young wife, she heard a sermon on the radio and gave her life to Christ. And a year later my Grandpa came to Christ. They raised a family of 8 as best they knew how. My dad went into the ministry in part because of her, and raised his own family of 4. I am not in ministry per se, but I love my Jesus and am passing on that love to my little family of 2.
She was short, like me. She sang alto, like me. She loved pretty things, flashy belts and fun shoes. ;o) Me too. She always knew where she stood on a matter, and sometimes to a fault would argue her position...I could stand to be a bit more courageous in some areas, and back down in some others. Grandma was never old to me, not even when I "grew up". She just always looked the same...until just a few short years ago. And when she smiled, her whole face would smile...her eyes, her mouth, each beautiful wrinkle in her skin. Her laugh was contagious. I can still hear it. Her sense of humor was not what one would expect from their grandma, she came out with some of the driest, funniest things. She was a pool shark, and lobbied for Senior Citizens rights at her state capital. She drove her car like a racer around those curvy rural Missouri roads. She was an independent lady, but fell in love again years after my Grandpa had passed...
The last time I talked to her on the phone, she was full of life and joy, and was wishing to see me & her new great-granddaughters. We never got down there...and I'll always be sad about that. I was rummaging through some photo albums and came across a picture from our wedding. I teared up right away. I looked at it and thought: That's my Grandma. She was so happy that day. Happy for me. Celebrating with me. There for me. What else could one ask for? She loved me...even if I didn't get down to see her often, even if she wasn't able to meet my family. She loved me and was there when she could be.
If you know me well at all, you know that music is a language that speaks deeply to me. I get lost in the longing chords of a double bass, and reflective in the expressive tones of a voice. I have listened to "For Always" by Josh Groban about 100x since Grandma left this place...it's two phrases that get me every time...
"I close my eyes, and there in the shadows I see your light..."
and
"For always and ever, you'll be a part of me..."
She will always be a part of what makes me me. I'll close my eyes and see that face...and I'll forever be thankful for the amazing woman that God chose to put in my life.
Thursday, November 29, 2012
Curvy Girl Goes Skinny
No...I did not lose weight, I did not achieve the "thin as a rail" status. People do not say, "Wow, I can't believe you have had 2 kids, you look amazing!" They say, "You look so nice." The word 'skinny' does not grace the space next to my name. Actually, the word 'skinny' has never been put next to my name. I digress...
Actually, what I DID do is discover a skinny jean that works on a curvy girl. Four years ago I had lived through two years of Iowa winter and knew I needed something more in my winter gear. Enter riding boots. And warm legs. And stylish functionality. Thank you...I can now survive. But, I had no jeans that I could wear inside my boots, so I just wore them outside. I have tried on ENDLESS numbers of skinny jeans only to be disgusted time and time again. I mean, first off, I'm short - Strike 1. Secondly, I have hips larger than my waist - Strike 2 (which you think would be common knowledge about women's bodies - eh?). And lastly, I don't like to wear jeans that hug my every crevice! - Strike 3. And that's why I've never owned skinny jeans. And I was sad to have to wear my pants over my boots...but I was warm.
Then I read this. And I went to AE (where I never shop). And I tried them on. And I am in love with the Skinny Kick as well as the Skinny. And I found them on sale on Cyber Monday with free shipping. And the world rejoiced as the angels sang. Or...maybe I was listening to Christmas music while I ordered. Anyway...they are as close of a perfect fit as I've ever worn.
If you happen to be a curvy girl, make sure these get put on your Christmas list. Your boots will thank you.
Actually, what I DID do is discover a skinny jean that works on a curvy girl. Four years ago I had lived through two years of Iowa winter and knew I needed something more in my winter gear. Enter riding boots. And warm legs. And stylish functionality. Thank you...I can now survive. But, I had no jeans that I could wear inside my boots, so I just wore them outside. I have tried on ENDLESS numbers of skinny jeans only to be disgusted time and time again. I mean, first off, I'm short - Strike 1. Secondly, I have hips larger than my waist - Strike 2 (which you think would be common knowledge about women's bodies - eh?). And lastly, I don't like to wear jeans that hug my every crevice! - Strike 3. And that's why I've never owned skinny jeans. And I was sad to have to wear my pants over my boots...but I was warm.
Then I read this. And I went to AE (where I never shop). And I tried them on. And I am in love with the Skinny Kick as well as the Skinny. And I found them on sale on Cyber Monday with free shipping. And the world rejoiced as the angels sang. Or...maybe I was listening to Christmas music while I ordered. Anyway...they are as close of a perfect fit as I've ever worn.
If you happen to be a curvy girl, make sure these get put on your Christmas list. Your boots will thank you.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Growing Up
It's almost comical to me how much my eldest wants to grow up. Today for instance, she is carrying around an old cell phone that was discarded when Rohn got his Treo years ago. She snatched that thing right up when I found it yesterday after digging through a box I haven't touched since we moved 7 years ago (yes, I am THAT kind of "out of sight, out of mind" person). And she's talking on the phone to someone very important, and is checking her calendar often. Totally cracking me up. Last year, she went the whole year comparing everything to "when I'm 33...", because of course, I was 33 and it was very cool to be 33.
Makes me think about when I was "little", and when I was in college but still living at home. Oh the things I was going to do when I grew up, when I left home:
Makes me think about when I was "little", and when I was in college but still living at home. Oh the things I was going to do when I grew up, when I left home:
- I was NEVER going to take naps!
- I would eat dessert as a meal, and drink out of the milk carton.
- Play my music as loudly as I wished...and sing along at the top of my lungs.
- Sleep in, sleep in, sleep in as long as I wanted.
- Stay out past curfew...I mean, who imposes a 10pm curfew on their daughter??
- I was going to leave the house without telling anyone where I was going, who I'd be with, and when I'd be getting back.
- I would wear JEANS at any random time I chose to any locale I thought I just might want to wear them. AHA! (I know, this does not sound crazy to anyone else, but you'd have to have my same growing up background to understand, I suppose)
So now I am grown up. I mean, I'm thirty-something, live in a separate town from my parents (separate state!), have a mortgage, 2 kids, and I'm in charge of a ministry at church. I think all those things together might say I've reached grown-up-dom. Here's what I've checked off my list of being a grown up:
- I LOVE naps, oh my goodness I wish I could get one everyday. And now I'm on the fighting end to make the Littles lay down and rest each day. What??
- I eat dessert as a meal, chocolate as a meal, and coffee as a meal. And at one time I did drink straight out of the milk carton...b/c I could...but not anymore.
- When driving the Swagger Wagon, everyone wants to talk to Mama, so the music has to be at a reasonable level. When at home managing the everything all day, music stays at a reasonable level. But, when I'm out on my own, I end up calling someone so I can speak to them uninterrupted...and you know what? I don't so much blare the music at all. That's sad.
- Sleep in? What is that? Ever since these little alarm clocks entered my house, sleeping in has been a dream of the past...or the future...but definitely not the present. HA! That would be a present!
- Curfew...I love to be home at 10pm...no, 9pm. Because then the babysitter has done all the work of getting the girls in bed, and then I just get to sit around in my pj's and watch whatever DVR I want to catch up on, and it's quiet. New rule at the Gibsons...try never to pay a sitter when the kids are sleeping. Good one, right?
- Not telling anyone where I'm going...yea, not so much. When I leave I practically have to leave notes all over, make sure the sitter has my number, assure the girls I'll be right back to kiss them or cuddle them before bed, tell them where we're going and how important it is to be alone with Daddy, give a run down to the sitter, give a time we'll be getting home, check in while we're gone. So much for anonymity.
- Jeans. Yes...I get to do this one daily. I have my stay-at-home-play-with-the-girls jeans, my date jeans, my going-to-town jeans (you know, the big city! Sioux Falls!), my work jeans. I love them. I live in them. I do believe I could use a few more pair. But to be honest, I love and adore dressing up. High heels. Lacy or opaque tights. Skirts & dresses that flounce above my knee. I now wear jeans everyday and I miss what it feels like to get prettied up. I wear dresses to church even though no one "expects" me to do it. I just love dressing up. I know, I'm weird. Love me anyway ;o)
All of that to bring me back to what I was trying to point out. We spend 1/2 our lives waiting to do our own thing, and then we get to our thirties and discover that we don't ever really get to do our own thing. We had it so easy when we were young...we just never knew it! I so want to instill in my girls a desire to just enjoy life where you're at. The next chapter will come barreling upon you when you least expect it, and then you'll never be able to go back. That chapter will be closed...but a new unwritten one will be in front of you.
I think I should take my own advice. The jeans were definitely worth the wait though.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Holding On
Because some days it's all I feel I can do. And lately, I feel it more than ever...which isn't how it should be at all. I should be holding on with all I have all the time. Circumstances can never determine who I view God to be. But, these are the times that I see just how fleeting everything else in life is. There IS nothing to do, but hold on to the only Truth that never changes.
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
How Do I Love Thee...
My friend, Janet, is such an encouragement on so many levels. One of those levels happens to be the topic of homeschooling. She wrote a book of devotionals, "The Daily Focus" (highly recommend!), that I've grown to love. In one of her stories, she told how she wrote a list of reasons she decided to homeschool, taken after the poem How Do I Love Thee by Elizabeth Barret Browning. Whenever Janet had a rough day of school with her kids, she would reference her "I Love Homeschooling" list to help refocus her on the big picture.
I liked the idea. I liked it for a lot of reasons...the main one being that one of my goals is to live intentionally. Referring to a list like that - and continually adding to it - would remind me to be intentional with my days.
Many of you do not homeschool, that's totally cool ;o) But, I thought I'd share the list that I started this year and maybe you'll start a list of your own for whatever thing proves to be your challenge.
Homeschooling, I Love Thee, Here are the Ways:
1. Freedom to be where we want to be physically & still be in school
2. No dragging kids out of bed at 6am (ie: early) to meet a preset time schedule
3. A daily schedule that can be adjusted as needed to dive into a subject more in depth, or adjust around appointments or ministry opportunities
4. Interaction with a variety of ages on a daily basis...kids learning to adjust to the needs of others and help them or be helped
5. I get to see what the teacher sees...all the dots connecting, the lighted eyes of my girls when it suddenly all makes sense
6. They grow up so fast. I will never regret spending this "extra" time with them and sacrificing to be the one who teaches them
7. We're leaving a legacy...and we only get this one lifetime to pass on what we feel is needful for them. This is a part of that legacy, infusing Christ and HIS love into every single part of their daily lives, because life without Christ is no life at all.
So what's your challenge? At the end of the day, why do you do what you do? Start the list...
I liked the idea. I liked it for a lot of reasons...the main one being that one of my goals is to live intentionally. Referring to a list like that - and continually adding to it - would remind me to be intentional with my days.
Many of you do not homeschool, that's totally cool ;o) But, I thought I'd share the list that I started this year and maybe you'll start a list of your own for whatever thing proves to be your challenge.
Homeschooling, I Love Thee, Here are the Ways:
1. Freedom to be where we want to be physically & still be in school
2. No dragging kids out of bed at 6am (ie: early) to meet a preset time schedule
3. A daily schedule that can be adjusted as needed to dive into a subject more in depth, or adjust around appointments or ministry opportunities
4. Interaction with a variety of ages on a daily basis...kids learning to adjust to the needs of others and help them or be helped
5. I get to see what the teacher sees...all the dots connecting, the lighted eyes of my girls when it suddenly all makes sense
6. They grow up so fast. I will never regret spending this "extra" time with them and sacrificing to be the one who teaches them
7. We're leaving a legacy...and we only get this one lifetime to pass on what we feel is needful for them. This is a part of that legacy, infusing Christ and HIS love into every single part of their daily lives, because life without Christ is no life at all.
So what's your challenge? At the end of the day, why do you do what you do? Start the list...
Friday, June 29, 2012
Kitchen Ramblings
I've always been fascinated with old houses...and the history of old houses. I blame my parents...they're history nuts. A few months ago I was reading an old journal of mine and I had written about this broken down old house I passed on my commute each day that had obviously had some glorious days in it's past, and what it had endured and "seen" during it's lifetime (I'm aware that was a total run-on sentence). I always thought it would be so cool to bring something that was so discarded back to life.
My poor husband, I should've told him these things before we purchased our current home. It was built in 1918 as the town boarding house...great big porches on the front and back of it, beautiful large windows throughout, formal living & dining rooms, parlor, huge open hallway upstairs lined with 5 bedrooms that leads to a sunroom through french doors. I took it in and saw past the ugly wallpaper, bad paint choices, worn carpet, teal cabinets, and imagined what it could be...or maybe what it once was. I loved the character of the wooden ceiling beams, and the door in the kitchen that opened to a closet (that I'm convinced is covering up a servants stairway to the upstairs "attic" room), big walk-in closets, and the opportunity for entertaining others comfortably. After the 7 previous houses we had walked through that day, this one seemed like a palace. We signed the dotted line and started getting to work.
Did you know how much renovating/updating an old house can cost? We soon found out...and the dream of what the house could one day be seemed distant & foggy. Looking back now, I see how much progress we've made, and how much we have yet to do. People comment on what a beautiful house we have and I have to just say, "It's a work in progress"...because there is really no other way to describe how much money, sweat, frustration, & tears have gone into it. In 6+ years of living here, we have yet to sit back and say, "I'm bored!" I do believe that day isn't actually going to come!
Last week we were finally able to take on the eyesore of the house...the kitchen. It has been totally gutted. I think it already looks fabulous. LOL!
Before:
Notice the beautiful linoleum...circa 1970's...or before. And the stunning teal paint on ALL the woodwork.
And please take careful notice that I took the wallpaper off the soffit only to come to the conclusion that we didn't want to put any money into the kitchen right now, whatever we had was going towards the renovation.
And after demo:
Our kitchen has been at least 4 different colors as we can tell: peach, light green, tan, white...and teal.
Here's what's beneath the tar paper:
My poor husband, I should've told him these things before we purchased our current home. It was built in 1918 as the town boarding house...great big porches on the front and back of it, beautiful large windows throughout, formal living & dining rooms, parlor, huge open hallway upstairs lined with 5 bedrooms that leads to a sunroom through french doors. I took it in and saw past the ugly wallpaper, bad paint choices, worn carpet, teal cabinets, and imagined what it could be...or maybe what it once was. I loved the character of the wooden ceiling beams, and the door in the kitchen that opened to a closet (that I'm convinced is covering up a servants stairway to the upstairs "attic" room), big walk-in closets, and the opportunity for entertaining others comfortably. After the 7 previous houses we had walked through that day, this one seemed like a palace. We signed the dotted line and started getting to work.
Did you know how much renovating/updating an old house can cost? We soon found out...and the dream of what the house could one day be seemed distant & foggy. Looking back now, I see how much progress we've made, and how much we have yet to do. People comment on what a beautiful house we have and I have to just say, "It's a work in progress"...because there is really no other way to describe how much money, sweat, frustration, & tears have gone into it. In 6+ years of living here, we have yet to sit back and say, "I'm bored!" I do believe that day isn't actually going to come!
Last week we were finally able to take on the eyesore of the house...the kitchen. It has been totally gutted. I think it already looks fabulous. LOL!
Before:
Notice the beautiful linoleum...circa 1970's...or before. And the stunning teal paint on ALL the woodwork.
And please take careful notice that I took the wallpaper off the soffit only to come to the conclusion that we didn't want to put any money into the kitchen right now, whatever we had was going towards the renovation.
And after demo:
Good-bye soffits!! If you look closely at the floor, you will see black paper. This is the tar paper they would glue to the wood floor to use as a moisture barrier before they put on the tile. We found a layer of tile (light green & beige), then plywood, then the lovely brown vinyl that we've been living with since we moved in.
And look at the insulation stuffed in the wall where they took out one of the big windows to put something more "modern" in. I wish they hadn't done that. ;o( But I've thought that a million times the past few years about different stuff.
Took out the 1/2 walls above the doorways. Still thinking how we want to proceed with the ceiling area here.
Our kitchen has been at least 4 different colors as we can tell: peach, light green, tan, white...and teal.
Here's what's beneath the tar paper:
Maple and fur wood floors. Today I spent a little time trying to figure out what was going to bring the tar paper up. So far, mineral spirits does the best job, but I think I might take a walk on the more chemically side of things and try something stronger. I'm not against elbow grease, but if something else can help me put in less elbow grease, it has my vote ;o)
Working on this floor today...and this entire current project...got me thinking about why I'm so fascinated by old houses. But I've rambled enough for now, so I'll pick up on that thought in the next post.
BTW...our contractor is the best. You should've seen his face when we told him we had decided to save the old wooden floors. Priceless. Poor guy.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Confession of a non-Catholic
I feel the need to confess! I didn't do it to be mean, or because I was ticked off...wait, I'll back up.
BackStory - Over a year ago my most fabulous, sought-out stylist decided to go on his own and work out of his house...45 minutes from where I live. Yay for him. Boo for me. I was already traveling 25 minutes to get my hairs cut, but it was SO worth it. He knew my hair and made it love me in all manners of my crazy, wonderful life. Then he left and my hair and I were sad. So I got a babysitter, and made the trip to his place to get my hair cut & colored. And it was lovely...and costs including childcare meant that I spent more on that cut & color than what was acceptable. Boo. The gal that owned the original salon with him was doing business much closer to where I lived, so I decided to try her out.
((Enter current story))
Six months ago I got my hair cut by Maria, and the cut process was long b/c I kept asking for her to take more off here & there, but when we got to the end, I was happy. Life happens...I did not get back there until just today...and oh my goodness I needed a cut. It was strung-out, out of shape, dry, and had lived in a pony for about the past month...I'm describing my hair here...don't misinterpret it to be me b/c I can see how it might be confusing.
Today we color oh-so-summery, and she cuts and is remembering little nuances about my hair that I had told her about before (Wow!). Both girlies also get their hairs cut (Audi's first!). Finally we get around to styling mine & she styles it straight (b/c I usually wear it curly), and the girls are being crazy at the salon b/c it's been 2 hours, so it's time to GO! Hasta & Thank You!!!
On the way home I notice it. The sides are a bit longer around the face than what I like. I know it's the style, but when I wear it curly, I just don't like it like that...it looks "off". And I think it will just grow on me and it will be fine...but as the afternoon has worn on, it is not growing on me. It annoys me. And I feel bad about that b/c if I would've said something at the salon, she would've fixed it and no big deal. But now the salon is 25 minutes away, and I don't have time to go deal with fixing it and it's naptime around here & there's no way I'm interrupting THAT!
Maria, forgive me. I absolutely knew what I was doing as I took out the hair shears & comb, and yes, I "straightened" the sides of my hair. (Audrey's voice was running through my head, "I do it myself!") Now, the good news is that I only had to straighten each side one time...maybe a little fixing would make two. But I didn't go back & forth and butcher my beautiful haircut that took a lot of time. It looks just fine to me, and NO ONE is going to know anything once I wear it curly like how I always do anyway. But I do apologize to Maria, b/c she would know that I messed with her work of art. I'm sorry, I sincerely am. But I'm happier now too. ;o(
I tell you this not because I am proud of what I did. But b/c there are things we do as moms that just have to make do sometimes. My first choice would've been to go back and get it fixed, but that wasn't really a viable option. My second choice would've been to find a capable stylist here to fix it, but why do you think I go 25 minutes away to get my hair cut? So, yes, I resorted to taking my hair into my own hands...and it is fine...it might even look better than fine, but I'm not going to go that far.
And by the way, I can't be the ONLY one who has ever done this deed. So go ahead, Share Please! Commiserate with this non-Catholic Baptist girl trying to do confession!
BackStory - Over a year ago my most fabulous, sought-out stylist decided to go on his own and work out of his house...45 minutes from where I live. Yay for him. Boo for me. I was already traveling 25 minutes to get my hairs cut, but it was SO worth it. He knew my hair and made it love me in all manners of my crazy, wonderful life. Then he left and my hair and I were sad. So I got a babysitter, and made the trip to his place to get my hair cut & colored. And it was lovely...and costs including childcare meant that I spent more on that cut & color than what was acceptable. Boo. The gal that owned the original salon with him was doing business much closer to where I lived, so I decided to try her out.
((Enter current story))
Six months ago I got my hair cut by Maria, and the cut process was long b/c I kept asking for her to take more off here & there, but when we got to the end, I was happy. Life happens...I did not get back there until just today...and oh my goodness I needed a cut. It was strung-out, out of shape, dry, and had lived in a pony for about the past month...I'm describing my hair here...don't misinterpret it to be me b/c I can see how it might be confusing.
Today we color oh-so-summery, and she cuts and is remembering little nuances about my hair that I had told her about before (Wow!). Both girlies also get their hairs cut (Audi's first!). Finally we get around to styling mine & she styles it straight (b/c I usually wear it curly), and the girls are being crazy at the salon b/c it's been 2 hours, so it's time to GO! Hasta & Thank You!!!
On the way home I notice it. The sides are a bit longer around the face than what I like. I know it's the style, but when I wear it curly, I just don't like it like that...it looks "off". And I think it will just grow on me and it will be fine...but as the afternoon has worn on, it is not growing on me. It annoys me. And I feel bad about that b/c if I would've said something at the salon, she would've fixed it and no big deal. But now the salon is 25 minutes away, and I don't have time to go deal with fixing it and it's naptime around here & there's no way I'm interrupting THAT!
Maria, forgive me. I absolutely knew what I was doing as I took out the hair shears & comb, and yes, I "straightened" the sides of my hair. (Audrey's voice was running through my head, "I do it myself!") Now, the good news is that I only had to straighten each side one time...maybe a little fixing would make two. But I didn't go back & forth and butcher my beautiful haircut that took a lot of time. It looks just fine to me, and NO ONE is going to know anything once I wear it curly like how I always do anyway. But I do apologize to Maria, b/c she would know that I messed with her work of art. I'm sorry, I sincerely am. But I'm happier now too. ;o(
I tell you this not because I am proud of what I did. But b/c there are things we do as moms that just have to make do sometimes. My first choice would've been to go back and get it fixed, but that wasn't really a viable option. My second choice would've been to find a capable stylist here to fix it, but why do you think I go 25 minutes away to get my hair cut? So, yes, I resorted to taking my hair into my own hands...and it is fine...it might even look better than fine, but I'm not going to go that far.
And by the way, I can't be the ONLY one who has ever done this deed. So go ahead, Share Please! Commiserate with this non-Catholic Baptist girl trying to do confession!
Monday, April 23, 2012
List 5
I'm missing chocolate today. I had to cut ties if even for a short time...it makes me sad to do it though ;o) Ha! So, here's 5 things that make me smile today:
1) My seedlings for my garden are getting HUGE! Growing so well and I can't wait to harden them off and get them growing in my 5BoxesOfGoodness! Going to be a fun gardening year.
2) I'm drinking coffee...need I say more?
3) We almost have the finalized plans done for our kitchen. You heard me right, the teal atrocity called our kitchen is going to get it's long awaited re-do soon!
4) My girls are healthy...and sassy...but both can be looked upon with much thanks.
5) Not the least of the list, but a huge shout out to my Honey who leads, protects, and provides for all of his girls. Love him so much.
Your turn! Leave me something...or 5...that makes you smile!
1) My seedlings for my garden are getting HUGE! Growing so well and I can't wait to harden them off and get them growing in my 5BoxesOfGoodness! Going to be a fun gardening year.
2) I'm drinking coffee...need I say more?
3) We almost have the finalized plans done for our kitchen. You heard me right, the teal atrocity called our kitchen is going to get it's long awaited re-do soon!
4) My girls are healthy...and sassy...but both can be looked upon with much thanks.
5) Not the least of the list, but a huge shout out to my Honey who leads, protects, and provides for all of his girls. Love him so much.
Your turn! Leave me something...or 5...that makes you smile!
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Artisan Bread
I have been on the hunt for a good bread recipe for a while. I use one that I kinda like...but I ran out of gluten a while ago and keep forgetting to pick it up at the store, so the bread comes out crumbly right now. Then I came across Artisan Bread on Pinterest...you know, the one that says you can make a loaf with no kneading for $.40?!?! Um, YES! I want to do that! Yesterday I gave it a try, and it was so-so. Today I did it again and it is better. I think I might be onto something here! One recipe makes 4 loaves, but you only have to bake one at a time, having fresh bread everyday would be pretty cool, right?
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And yes, I know you're supposed to wait until the bread is cooled until you cut into it...but I just couldn't wait!!! :o) The only thing that could've made it better would've been large amounts of Nutella spread on top. YUUUUUUM!
This is the blog that based their recipe from the technique they read in Artisan Bread in Five Minutes A Day. I did not read the book, but the blog was super helpful...thank you! I used 1/2 whole wheat, 1/2 white flour, so it was most likely a few more pennies than $.40/loaf, but I'm impressed enough to continue perfecting and working on the technique.
Does anyone have a good bread recipe they swear by? Or am I the only one who makes their own bread in the supermarket day & age? ;o) C'mon! Try this! It's so easy and you'll thank me. Be creative in your kitchen and try something new...then tell me how it went!
I'm thinking Broccoli Cheese soup tonight...with crusty bread...
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And yes, I know you're supposed to wait until the bread is cooled until you cut into it...but I just couldn't wait!!! :o) The only thing that could've made it better would've been large amounts of Nutella spread on top. YUUUUUUM!
This is the blog that based their recipe from the technique they read in Artisan Bread in Five Minutes A Day. I did not read the book, but the blog was super helpful...thank you! I used 1/2 whole wheat, 1/2 white flour, so it was most likely a few more pennies than $.40/loaf, but I'm impressed enough to continue perfecting and working on the technique.
Does anyone have a good bread recipe they swear by? Or am I the only one who makes their own bread in the supermarket day & age? ;o) C'mon! Try this! It's so easy and you'll thank me. Be creative in your kitchen and try something new...then tell me how it went!
I'm thinking Broccoli Cheese soup tonight...with crusty bread...
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Books
The past week has been a very hard one...I'll just put that out there as honest as I can. But, I've been in a few conversations and have been asked about some resources I use, so I thought I'd pass on what I've been passing on to others around me this week.
We homeschool, so most of the conversations have been from that viewpoint, but I think these would pertain to non-homeschoolers who are looking for more for their kiddos and for themselves.
Honey for a Child's Heart - Gladys Hunt
Classic books and challenging reading to introduce at every age. I used to wander my library and look for quality books, now I take this book and find exactly what I need. If you are a lover of literature or Classic Education, you'll love this book.
First Art: Art Experiences for Toddlers and Twos - MaryAnn F. Kohl
This is my go-to art book right now. It has so many different ways of painting, drawing and molding...all which I can pull together quickly. My girls have loved everything I used from here. She also lays out for each "lesson" what you'll need, how to present it, and what the messy factor is going to be - I consider this INVALUABLE right now ;o)
Daily Focus - Janet Tatman
I feel a bit biased putting this on here because Janet is my sweet, dear friend. But I'm telling you...this is such an encouraging devotional. As moms we fight battles that are only ours, but also as homeschooling moms we fight battles that others do not. I swear she had a Nanny Cam in my house this week and knew exactly what was going on...it was like a friend sharing God's truth with me each day as I read the small blurb. If you don't want to commit to purchasing the book, you can sign up and have a new devo in your inbox each morning.
Ok...that's all for now ;o) Just thought I'd share!
We homeschool, so most of the conversations have been from that viewpoint, but I think these would pertain to non-homeschoolers who are looking for more for their kiddos and for themselves.
Honey for a Child's Heart - Gladys Hunt
Classic books and challenging reading to introduce at every age. I used to wander my library and look for quality books, now I take this book and find exactly what I need. If you are a lover of literature or Classic Education, you'll love this book.
First Art: Art Experiences for Toddlers and Twos - MaryAnn F. Kohl
This is my go-to art book right now. It has so many different ways of painting, drawing and molding...all which I can pull together quickly. My girls have loved everything I used from here. She also lays out for each "lesson" what you'll need, how to present it, and what the messy factor is going to be - I consider this INVALUABLE right now ;o)
Daily Focus - Janet Tatman
I feel a bit biased putting this on here because Janet is my sweet, dear friend. But I'm telling you...this is such an encouraging devotional. As moms we fight battles that are only ours, but also as homeschooling moms we fight battles that others do not. I swear she had a Nanny Cam in my house this week and knew exactly what was going on...it was like a friend sharing God's truth with me each day as I read the small blurb. If you don't want to commit to purchasing the book, you can sign up and have a new devo in your inbox each morning.
Ok...that's all for now ;o) Just thought I'd share!
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Year of Creativity (and moderation...if you must know)
Months ago (while I was doing laundry), Rohn & I got into a conversation about being creators instead of just consumers. In the years of having babies, raising babies, chasing after babies, baby laundry, oh...and now HOMESCHOOLING (the lovely time-sucker it is)...creativity has somehow taken a back seat around here. Because you see, it is so much easier to just buy a thing than to use brain power to make something new from something old, repurpose, or just learn to do something you don't know how to do! So, we decided right then that we MUST embrace creativity and get back on the train of life-long learning. Also - did I mention we became "friends" with Dave Ramsey 2 years ago and live on a budget now? A budget that doesn't just let you buy any old thing all the time...having limits also makes you creative (post on how I learned to cook because of this coming later).
So...first thing I dove into was making hairbows for my girlies. Because I LOVE sweet, little, big, southern-looking, preppy, bows and baretts and headbands and options! Must have options ;o) Say hello to Hobby Lobby, Pinterest, and 1/2 price sales on rolls of ribbons. I totally enjoy making bows and felt flowers and corker bows and tshirt headbands and other such fun things. Creativity is FUN!
Next on the list? Knitting. I see beautiful scarves, hats, baby leg warmers, and other such sweet (did I mention warm?) things for money...lots of money. Remember the budget? ;o) Yes, let's not forget. Again off to Hobby Lobby for needles & yarn (on sale, mind you!). Love that store...it sucks me in and I have to purposefully leave. Yesterday one of the girls in our homeschool group came over and taught me how to cast-on, and the knit stitch. I can knit anything right now as long as it is the knit stitch...purling coming at a later date...and then I'm totally diving into cable...oh I love cable!
That's just of the pretty part...the edges are not so pretty, or straight. But hey...I'm still a knitting virgin here, and I don't think it looks too horrible!!! If it does, please do not imply so in the Comments. Thank you. Here's my current list of things I want to knit.
Baby Legwarmers - CUTE! As soon as I learn to purl, I can do the ribbing...very exciting! Audi's chunky legs would be sooo sweet in these. I would want to eat her up...even more than I already do!
This very cool chunky scarf using the KNIT stitch...I can do that!!! Seriously...how Anthro looking is this infinity scarf?
And then I figure I'll want to dive into a long, emotionally powered project...maybe a soft blanket for my girlies. This one looks so cute and bright.
Last note...remember the moderation bit in the title? I could do this knitting thing all day right now. I find it so relaxing and satisfying...but then laundry wouldn't get done, the girls would be eating crackers and cereal for meals, and schooling would be totally non-existent! All things in moderation...even really fun, creative, productive things.
What about you? Have you been learning something that is really enjoyable and creative? Do I need to learn it too? ;o) Share!!!!
So...first thing I dove into was making hairbows for my girlies. Because I LOVE sweet, little, big, southern-looking, preppy, bows and baretts and headbands and options! Must have options ;o) Say hello to Hobby Lobby, Pinterest, and 1/2 price sales on rolls of ribbons. I totally enjoy making bows and felt flowers and corker bows and tshirt headbands and other such fun things. Creativity is FUN!
Next on the list? Knitting. I see beautiful scarves, hats, baby leg warmers, and other such sweet (did I mention warm?) things for money...lots of money. Remember the budget? ;o) Yes, let's not forget. Again off to Hobby Lobby for needles & yarn (on sale, mind you!). Love that store...it sucks me in and I have to purposefully leave. Yesterday one of the girls in our homeschool group came over and taught me how to cast-on, and the knit stitch. I can knit anything right now as long as it is the knit stitch...purling coming at a later date...and then I'm totally diving into cable...oh I love cable!
That's just of the pretty part...the edges are not so pretty, or straight. But hey...I'm still a knitting virgin here, and I don't think it looks too horrible!!! If it does, please do not imply so in the Comments. Thank you. Here's my current list of things I want to knit.
Baby Legwarmers - CUTE! As soon as I learn to purl, I can do the ribbing...very exciting! Audi's chunky legs would be sooo sweet in these. I would want to eat her up...even more than I already do!
This very cool chunky scarf using the KNIT stitch...I can do that!!! Seriously...how Anthro looking is this infinity scarf?
And then I figure I'll want to dive into a long, emotionally powered project...maybe a soft blanket for my girlies. This one looks so cute and bright.
Last note...remember the moderation bit in the title? I could do this knitting thing all day right now. I find it so relaxing and satisfying...but then laundry wouldn't get done, the girls would be eating crackers and cereal for meals, and schooling would be totally non-existent! All things in moderation...even really fun, creative, productive things.
What about you? Have you been learning something that is really enjoyable and creative? Do I need to learn it too? ;o) Share!!!!
Sunday, January 22, 2012
It's All Lies
January 1 came and went without resolutions for me this year...because I had already thought about it and didn't want to make them! Ha! But, in thinking about them, I decided I wanted to be intentional about a few things this year that I've let slip. One of those things is reading 1 book per month...which just seems ridiculous to say because I used to blow through books in a WEEK! That, my friend, was before children, and DVR, and Facebook, and Pinterest...and evidently I lost the joy and discipline of sitting down to read. I want to change that.
First book on my list for the year: Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Have you ever read a book that is hard to continue reading because you keep on getting convicted and have to stop and talk things out with God...sometimes a few days of talking before you realize there is no use fighting it, His words are true and you're in the wrong. Oh yes...that is this book. In fact, I'm a little concerned I might not finish it in January because I keep on having to stop and get right with God! Which I guess is a good thing, right?
Ok...that was the back story...onto the reason for this post. Two Things...
The Lie: I don't have time to do everything I'm supposed to do.
The Truth: There is time in every day to do every thing that God wants me to do. (Ps 90:10-12, Jn 17:4)
Sad truth realization to me is that I often feel this way, although I might not say it aloud. But really, there is SO much to do in a day/week/month! And I always feel like I'm behind! The author pointed out something I've never thought of. When Jesus' work on earth was finished, he said "I have finished the work which thou gave me to do." And he did it in 3 years...don't you think he probably had the biggest TO DO list the world has ever seen? He did what his Father asked him to do...not what his disciples or the multitudes thought he should do (like overthrow the Romans)...just what God wanted. Also, he didn't take on anyone else's list, he had his orders and finished what God gave HIM to do.
The Takeaway - I can't be concerned with what everyone else thinks I should be doing, and put their items on my daily agenda. God has given me the items He wants me to accomplish each day, and I have to know what is and is not on the list. Oh that's so hard for me!!! What are the true priorities in my life right now and how do I need to go forth each day to accomplish them? I've started thinking about that each morning and asking for guidance and wisdom to know the difference between His agenda for me...and others that come into my day.
The Lie: A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.
The Truth: There is no greater measure of a woman's worth or success than the extent to which she serves at the heart of her home. (Titus 2:4-5)
In all openness, I will share a pet peeve. When I am asked what I do for a job, I usually brace myself as I answer, "I stay home with my girls." Responses to that phrase tell me sooooooo very much about the individual. My favorite response is, "Wow! I could never do that, but good for you." See, I actually chose this a long time before kids were even in the picture for us, and I STILL struggle with that choice somedays. No one tells me "Great job on the laundry!" or "How did you make this? It's fantastic!" or "Your husband's shirts look so crisp!" But for years I'd get congratulated on a proposal I put together for my boss, or flowers for each Admin's Day, or publicly recognized for a job well done in some area. Funny thing...no one recognizes the work I put into my family when it is the hardest work I've ever done. Instead I get comments like, "I'd be so bored if I had to stay home each day" or "My kids would drive me crazy if I was with them all day." And let's just be real...there are somedays I would love to be back in the workplace. Lots going on, talking to adults instead of playing referee, working lunches at nice restaurants instead of messy, loud, lunches of kid-friendly food that I made, inhaled, coaxed, and then cleaned up. Love the quote the author uses:" It is true that many "perfect jobs" may come and go during the childrearing years, but only one will absolutely never come along again - the job of rearing your own children and allowing them the increasingly rare opportunity to grow up at home."
The Takeaway: ((Whew...anyone still reading this??)) This SAHM thing, that's on my agenda everyday!! And even though I might've made the "choice", it is my current calling. The tasks sometimes seem menial and insignificant, but the love and training I can give my girls, the support and respect I can give my husband...there's not a menial, insignificant thing about it. Others will always inflict their opinion onto my life, but only one person's opinion matters, and He is very clear about the true priorities in life. I may not get to have the perks a double income gives, but I am never going to regret this choice during this chapter in my life.
So talk to me...if you're still here... #1-Are you prioritizing your day or are you letting it run you over? and #2-Are you letting the worlds' opinions of your life outweigh God's plan for you? What lies have you been believing? It's a judge-free zone! I've just let you in on just how much prayer I need ;o)
First book on my list for the year: Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets them Free by Nancy Leigh DeMoss. Have you ever read a book that is hard to continue reading because you keep on getting convicted and have to stop and talk things out with God...sometimes a few days of talking before you realize there is no use fighting it, His words are true and you're in the wrong. Oh yes...that is this book. In fact, I'm a little concerned I might not finish it in January because I keep on having to stop and get right with God! Which I guess is a good thing, right?
Ok...that was the back story...onto the reason for this post. Two Things...
The Lie: I don't have time to do everything I'm supposed to do.
The Truth: There is time in every day to do every thing that God wants me to do. (Ps 90:10-12, Jn 17:4)
Sad truth realization to me is that I often feel this way, although I might not say it aloud. But really, there is SO much to do in a day/week/month! And I always feel like I'm behind! The author pointed out something I've never thought of. When Jesus' work on earth was finished, he said "I have finished the work which thou gave me to do." And he did it in 3 years...don't you think he probably had the biggest TO DO list the world has ever seen? He did what his Father asked him to do...not what his disciples or the multitudes thought he should do (like overthrow the Romans)...just what God wanted. Also, he didn't take on anyone else's list, he had his orders and finished what God gave HIM to do.
The Takeaway - I can't be concerned with what everyone else thinks I should be doing, and put their items on my daily agenda. God has given me the items He wants me to accomplish each day, and I have to know what is and is not on the list. Oh that's so hard for me!!! What are the true priorities in my life right now and how do I need to go forth each day to accomplish them? I've started thinking about that each morning and asking for guidance and wisdom to know the difference between His agenda for me...and others that come into my day.
The Lie: A career outside the home is more valuable and fulfilling than being a wife and mother.
The Truth: There is no greater measure of a woman's worth or success than the extent to which she serves at the heart of her home. (Titus 2:4-5)
In all openness, I will share a pet peeve. When I am asked what I do for a job, I usually brace myself as I answer, "I stay home with my girls." Responses to that phrase tell me sooooooo very much about the individual. My favorite response is, "Wow! I could never do that, but good for you." See, I actually chose this a long time before kids were even in the picture for us, and I STILL struggle with that choice somedays. No one tells me "Great job on the laundry!" or "How did you make this? It's fantastic!" or "Your husband's shirts look so crisp!" But for years I'd get congratulated on a proposal I put together for my boss, or flowers for each Admin's Day, or publicly recognized for a job well done in some area. Funny thing...no one recognizes the work I put into my family when it is the hardest work I've ever done. Instead I get comments like, "I'd be so bored if I had to stay home each day" or "My kids would drive me crazy if I was with them all day." And let's just be real...there are somedays I would love to be back in the workplace. Lots going on, talking to adults instead of playing referee, working lunches at nice restaurants instead of messy, loud, lunches of kid-friendly food that I made, inhaled, coaxed, and then cleaned up. Love the quote the author uses:" It is true that many "perfect jobs" may come and go during the childrearing years, but only one will absolutely never come along again - the job of rearing your own children and allowing them the increasingly rare opportunity to grow up at home."
The Takeaway: ((Whew...anyone still reading this??)) This SAHM thing, that's on my agenda everyday!! And even though I might've made the "choice", it is my current calling. The tasks sometimes seem menial and insignificant, but the love and training I can give my girls, the support and respect I can give my husband...there's not a menial, insignificant thing about it. Others will always inflict their opinion onto my life, but only one person's opinion matters, and He is very clear about the true priorities in life. I may not get to have the perks a double income gives, but I am never going to regret this choice during this chapter in my life.
So talk to me...if you're still here... #1-Are you prioritizing your day or are you letting it run you over? and #2-Are you letting the worlds' opinions of your life outweigh God's plan for you? What lies have you been believing? It's a judge-free zone! I've just let you in on just how much prayer I need ;o)
Sunday, January 8, 2012
We Love Potato Soup
I made potato soup for New Years Eve. I know what you're thinking, but let me tell you...it was GOOD! I think we're going to be calling it Loaded Baked Potato Soup. Just a warning...if you are squeamish of bacon grease, you're going to have trouble with this recipe. My grandpa would LOVE this recipe! But once you taste it, you'll convince yourself it's ok to indulge once in a while. That's how good it is! Rohn even took a picture. Who thought potato soup would be so loved?
Saturday, December 24, 2011
Focused Perspective
I made cinnamon rolls today...loads and loads of cinnamon rolls. My feet and back hurt, but oh my gooey goodness the rolls are delish! While I was rolling out dough, adding copious amounts of butter and sugar, and making cinnamon deliciousness, the girls were napping. I personally love naptime. Calm comes back to the house and I can let my mind wander and think about things that are un-child related if I wish. Since it's Christmastime, I've been reading through the Christmas story and each time I read it, I am struck by something "new". Here's what hit a chord this time around...
When Herod figured out the wisemen weren't coming to tell him where Jesus was, he sent out his soldiers and they killed every child 2 years and under in the area Jesus would've been living at that time. I find it interesting that the writer records how the mothers responded...they cried out, they wouldn't be comforted. As a mom of a 2-year-old, that brought me to tears...and is again at this moment. To think of my Audrey taken from me because of the selfish desires of someone else to rid the known world of another king...it's unthinkable. Yet hundreds of mothers lost their children for this very reason. I'm guessing they were all Jewish, and had all heard of the Promised One coming. Did any of them realize that in losing their child, they were gaining a King? Would that bring comfort to know the Messiah, their long awaited Emmanuel had come? In my own heart, I would've battled wanting the immediate joy...my child...versus the big picture...knowing that the Deliverer was here and would reunite us. Could I put aside my immediate gratification (per se), for the knowledge that the Saviour had come and with Him, the message of eternal hope for all? Ouch.
I want to say "Yes". Yes, of course I would give up my child - willingly - so that others could come to know the Jesus I know, to hear of eternal life, to live life with hope that is unexplainable. How utterly unselfish of me. I can't though...I can't say that. There is only one who gave His only child so we could have life. God the Father. I can't compare my sense of parenthood to His...Ha! Laughable. He is LOVE. I have so much to learn.
What bigger picture should I be focusing on this Christmas season? What instant gratification is getting my attention instead? My girls don't have new Christmas dresses...and I feel really badly about this. They won't have a pretty, new, frilly dress to wear on Christmas morning to church. But, wait...what? Yes, dresses...that's what it all cumulated to in my mind as I rolled cinnamon rolls. Here's the thing: They will most likely not remember what dress they wore, or that I went to store after store looking for a 2T & 5 that coordinated...but not matched ;o) But I think they'll remember if I took time to be with them, played with them, read to them, discussed the true meaning of Christmas, loved on them, if I was patient in my responses, excited to share the true joy of this season. That's the big picture. The fact that they'll be wearing the same dresses they did last week at their program will mean nothing to them in 10 years...or 10 minutes. How does the true meaning of Christmas get lost? Even on those of us who desire to keep the focus on Christ and His unselfish gift of love? I lose perspective so easily...I should focus on THAT more often.
When Herod figured out the wisemen weren't coming to tell him where Jesus was, he sent out his soldiers and they killed every child 2 years and under in the area Jesus would've been living at that time. I find it interesting that the writer records how the mothers responded...they cried out, they wouldn't be comforted. As a mom of a 2-year-old, that brought me to tears...and is again at this moment. To think of my Audrey taken from me because of the selfish desires of someone else to rid the known world of another king...it's unthinkable. Yet hundreds of mothers lost their children for this very reason. I'm guessing they were all Jewish, and had all heard of the Promised One coming. Did any of them realize that in losing their child, they were gaining a King? Would that bring comfort to know the Messiah, their long awaited Emmanuel had come? In my own heart, I would've battled wanting the immediate joy...my child...versus the big picture...knowing that the Deliverer was here and would reunite us. Could I put aside my immediate gratification (per se), for the knowledge that the Saviour had come and with Him, the message of eternal hope for all? Ouch.
I want to say "Yes". Yes, of course I would give up my child - willingly - so that others could come to know the Jesus I know, to hear of eternal life, to live life with hope that is unexplainable. How utterly unselfish of me. I can't though...I can't say that. There is only one who gave His only child so we could have life. God the Father. I can't compare my sense of parenthood to His...Ha! Laughable. He is LOVE. I have so much to learn.
What bigger picture should I be focusing on this Christmas season? What instant gratification is getting my attention instead? My girls don't have new Christmas dresses...and I feel really badly about this. They won't have a pretty, new, frilly dress to wear on Christmas morning to church. But, wait...what? Yes, dresses...that's what it all cumulated to in my mind as I rolled cinnamon rolls. Here's the thing: They will most likely not remember what dress they wore, or that I went to store after store looking for a 2T & 5 that coordinated...but not matched ;o) But I think they'll remember if I took time to be with them, played with them, read to them, discussed the true meaning of Christmas, loved on them, if I was patient in my responses, excited to share the true joy of this season. That's the big picture. The fact that they'll be wearing the same dresses they did last week at their program will mean nothing to them in 10 years...or 10 minutes. How does the true meaning of Christmas get lost? Even on those of us who desire to keep the focus on Christ and His unselfish gift of love? I lose perspective so easily...I should focus on THAT more often.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
The Church Piano
The day my mom introduced me to the church piano, she got a free babysitter. Living next door to the church had very few perks, but this was one of them. At any time of the day or night, I could go next door and play as loud or weird as I wanted to on a baby grand piano...and no one complained. In fact, I don't remember many times that my mom even sent someone over to bring me back home! It would just be me and the glorious sound of the baby grand in the large space of our auditorium...bliss for a girl seeking acceptance and unable to find it in any other venue.
Tonight I went up to our little church we recently joined and played the piano. It was like stepping back in time as I entered the dark building -- so many memories came flooding back. The echo of the auditorium as I walked down the aisle. The sounds a building makes when no one is there to hear them. The freeness to sit and empty my soul through my fingers. Turning the lights off as I walked out the back, and the blast of cold air when I opened the door. Each one of these things took me back to the place I grew up. Like looking out into the blackness of the auditorium and knowing my dad had snuck upstairs into the overflow and was sitting listening as though it was his own private concert. Hitting the keys in frustration when I couldn't get the timing right or memorize correctly for my recitals. Crying, laying my head down by the sheet music as I wondered how I was going to get out of the mess I made, and how could I do this to my Jesus? Listening to the stillness and asking God questions about life. Playing my heart to my Friend because my words seemed so trite. Stepping out the back door and watching to miss the patch of ice that always forms there. The clear, crisp air would snap me back into reality and I would enter the house and my world again.
I bonded with that building. The hours I spent there, the dilemas I worked through on the piano bench, the elation and misery I experienced there...so much of myself was found and identified in that auditorium sitting on a black piano bench. I was a child. I was a teen. I grew up. And when contemplating where to get married, I knew. My church. Yes, it was the place my dad was pastoring, but that's not the actual reason I chose it. The same walls that I ran to for solace and consolation, I wanted for my wedding day.
Thirty minutes of piano playing went by like nothing tonight. In fact, I was surprised to hear my timer going off because I had only played two songs. But that's what a church piano affords me that nothing else does...a place to be off the clock and alone, and maybe to find what has changed since the last time I opened up to a church piano.
Tonight I went up to our little church we recently joined and played the piano. It was like stepping back in time as I entered the dark building -- so many memories came flooding back. The echo of the auditorium as I walked down the aisle. The sounds a building makes when no one is there to hear them. The freeness to sit and empty my soul through my fingers. Turning the lights off as I walked out the back, and the blast of cold air when I opened the door. Each one of these things took me back to the place I grew up. Like looking out into the blackness of the auditorium and knowing my dad had snuck upstairs into the overflow and was sitting listening as though it was his own private concert. Hitting the keys in frustration when I couldn't get the timing right or memorize correctly for my recitals. Crying, laying my head down by the sheet music as I wondered how I was going to get out of the mess I made, and how could I do this to my Jesus? Listening to the stillness and asking God questions about life. Playing my heart to my Friend because my words seemed so trite. Stepping out the back door and watching to miss the patch of ice that always forms there. The clear, crisp air would snap me back into reality and I would enter the house and my world again.
I bonded with that building. The hours I spent there, the dilemas I worked through on the piano bench, the elation and misery I experienced there...so much of myself was found and identified in that auditorium sitting on a black piano bench. I was a child. I was a teen. I grew up. And when contemplating where to get married, I knew. My church. Yes, it was the place my dad was pastoring, but that's not the actual reason I chose it. The same walls that I ran to for solace and consolation, I wanted for my wedding day.
Thirty minutes of piano playing went by like nothing tonight. In fact, I was surprised to hear my timer going off because I had only played two songs. But that's what a church piano affords me that nothing else does...a place to be off the clock and alone, and maybe to find what has changed since the last time I opened up to a church piano.
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